


It Takes Marvel

by The_Marron



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008), The Losers (2010)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Kid Fic, M/M, and references to mpreg without any mpreg actually involved, great dose of absurd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 21:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3869668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Marron/pseuds/The_Marron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To raise a DC character. </p><p>No one really knew where did Jake generate from.<br/>Okay, they did, but no one wanted to say it out loud. Or even think about it longer than it was necessary.<br/>The Avengers just accepted the following facts:<br/>1. Captain America and Winter Soldier went on a road trip to celebrate their reunion and Bucky's release from the HYDRA programming.<br/>2.They disappeared for almost a year. But they sent postcards.<br/>3. They returned with a child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Takes Marvel

**Author's Note:**

> Well, the whole idea was born out of watching The Losers and noticing, that Jake looks like Steve and Bucky's love child and behaves as if he had been raised by Tony Stark, so boom, this fic happened. I especially liked the scene when Aisha is threatened to be killed if she screws up and Jake mutters something about ' Just like my parents' so well...
> 
> It's also a homage for my recent love for Betty Ross, but hush. 
> 
> Do not take this fic seriously, and enjoy!

No one really knew where did Jake generate from.

Okay, they did, but no one wanted to say it out loud.

Or even think about it longer than it was necessary.

The Avengers just accepted the following facts:

1\. Captain America and Winter Soldier went on a road trip to celebrate their reunion and Bucky's release from the HYDRA programming.

2.They disappeared for almost a year. But they sent postcards.

3\. They returned with a child.

Since the child was bearing some kind of resemblance to Steve, the whole team just assumed that Cap and Soldier were in some kind of open-relationship.

It was obvious, right?

So, one day, when Steve was on a feeding duty in the kitchen, warming up whatever the babies were supposed to consume at the age of three months, Tony approached his teammate with heartfelt congratulations.

"My, my, wouldn't have guessed you had it in you, you two-timing lucky dog!" He said, patting Steve's arm affectionately. But instead of a lovely display of a reddening Cap, Tony was rewarded with a glare.

"Not all of us has your moral standards." Came the reply and Steve rose the baby higher in the air. "Don't listen to your uncle, not everyone is that twisted." He said, to child's obvious delight.

Tony was dumb-founded.

"So it's Barnes'? Or did you just find a child with a great resemblance to you and decided to adopt it?" He asked, still sounding shocked. He was even more shocked when Steve reddened now, wearing the expression of someone who said too much. The silence was heavy and unsettling. Then, it was broken by Barnes himself, who entered the kitchen and ignoring Tony went to Steve and took the child from him. The baby looked even more happy than it was before. A fleeting thought of _Well, he inherited Steve's heart_ entered Tony's mind.

"What's going on?" Tony looked at Barnes, who was in turn looking with concern at Steve, whose eyes betrayed a great desire of being somewhere else.

"Where did you get it from?!" Hissed Tony, trying to block all possible answers from his mind. Barnes paled and looked helplessly at Steve. Finding no support there he sighed and with a total poker face looked Tony dead in the eyes and said:

"One of many HYDRA experiments' side effects."

Tony might have fainted but if asked he would deny everything.

***

Aside from that one heart-to-heart, the Avengers accepted Jake's existence just like any other thing, like aliens, for example. They just didn't ask questions and rolled with it.

When Jake was roughly six months old, Sam appeared in the Tower with a big stuffed falcon, God-knows-from-where.

Faced with disbelieving (Bucky) and amused (Steve) stares, he explained.

"Well, we weren't there when he was born" Sam very thoroughly ignored the twin twitches that graced Bucky and Steve's expressions and went on "So I decided to, I don't know, let him know he is welcomed or something?" he tried.

Bucky snorted. "Yea, right. You just want to call dibs on the best uncle."

Sam grinned and accepted Steve's 'thank you' and splatter of Jake's saliva on his shirt with grace. His relationship with Bucky, despite the whole 'I will shoot you from the sky and kill you' debacle was good, so he even received a hug from the Soldier. And then it happened.

"Best uncle? Him?" The four (Jake was still getting the hang of staring someone down, but he was a fast learner and therefore was an active participant, even if held by Steve) turned to see Tony, leaning on a doorframe and looking positively murderous.

"Err..." Sam started, but to no avail.

"I let you live in my Tower, I build you a new shiny arm so you can seduce your mate to breed and you give your child's affections to this, this... bird? Because of a plushie?"

"Why is he coming onto Bucky?" Asked Sam

"Well, they did bond over robotics and whiskey. Mostly whiskey." Answered Steve, handing Sam the baby. "Buck, please..." He started as Bucky opened his mouth.

"It's a free country, I know because my 'mate' goes around the world in tights proclaiming it loudly, so my child can bestow his affection on whomever he wants. That, and it's not like you got him anything."

"... No." Finished Steve, tiredly.

"Oh, it's on Barnes. It. Is. So. On." Threatened Tony. " Your child will love me. It will be getting the best presents and it will love me dearly. On his sixteenth birthday he will ask to be officially adopted by me, just you wait!" He shouted as he exited the room. 

"You just had to?"

"Nope. I wanted to." Corrected Bucky and took his child and his new falcon from Sam.

"It will be the most spoiled child ever." Muttered Sam.

***

Sam's gift apparently gave a green light to the rest of the Avengers to start spoiling Jake and one-up each other in gifts.

On Jake's first birthday the competition was almost bloody, since Natasha and Clint almost put hits on each other - both of them came bearing Disney DVD sets. Thankfully, the movies where not exactly the same in every set so it ended up in a shouting match and minimal blood-shed. Even if Clint claimed that one of his hearing-aids mysteriously disappeared during the party.

Even Rhodey sent something for him, though he did not live in the Tower, and was unable to visit them at the time - state matters, he said.

Jake was of course too young to appreciate most of the gifts, especially since some of them were too dangerous to give them to child anyway, _Tony_.

Bruce and Betty, with tear-eyed looks observed Jake stumbling around in a Hulk onesie that Betty spotted and fought the queue of mothers for in the shop. She was very adamant about her statement that a child should be taught tolerance at a very young age.

Even though, what Jake fell completely in love with was a set of toys he got from Thor and Jane. Part of the set consisted of farm animals, the second part - of different beasts from Asgard. The figurines where made with a great care for details and fantastic colours, so the whole party dissolved into Avengers lying on the carpet playing with them, accompanied by Jake's delightful laughter.

"General Blackhoof, we have a situation!" Said Bruce, sounding forced. Maybe he was, since Tony was poking him in the ribs every time he refused to act out his part as a Lieutenant Duck. That, and Betty kept snickering every time he changed his voice to sound like a duck, which was worth it, apparently.

"Yes?" Asked Ton... General Blackhoof.

"Our Master Jake has been kidnapped!" Shouted nervously Sergeant Henchicken, whose voice resembled that of Jane's.

"Oh, gods! By whom!?" Despaired the General, galloping in pain around the carpet.

"By us!" Shouted five beasts that kept watch on the couch.

"You are never getting him back!!! Muahahahahahaha!" Laughed Clint-Dragon evilly and flew into air to circle around hostage's head.

"Yes! He is ours now!" Agreed the Big Wolf who could not move, since his long hair was trapped in his son's fist.

"And we do not share power!" Added a Big-Ass (stop cursing in front of the child, _Tony_ ) Goat, in Betty's voice.

"No man can conquer our might!" Hissed venomously A Freaking Big Snake (Natasha resented this name, but no one aside from Thor knew the proper one).

"Oh no!!! What shall we do?!" Bellowed general Blackhoof.

"Fear not!" In the middle of the carpet there landed two figures, one of a German Shepherd and one of an eight-legged horse.

"We will rescue the master!" Announced the shepherd. The hostage, recognizing the voice of his father, giggled and pulled his other father's hair harder. Pepper who was dutifully taking pictures of the whole event (she politely but forcefully declined the offer to take part in this) almost melted. One little baby had them whipped. Three assassins and even more super-heroes, and yet they were rolling on the carpet with toys. So much blackmail material.

The fun ended when defeated German Shepherd and eight-legged horse that spoke with voice of Thor summoned their metal dinosaur.

The dinosaur, being a gift from Tony arrived and declared independence by taking Jake in his metal jaws and running away out the room.

The whole team run after him, while Jake just laughed.

This poor kid was not normal from the beginning.

***

While the most people would assume that Captain America was the best father-material, he sometimes failed spectacularly.

Not because of his lack of love for son, since Steve was that kind of father who loved his child endlessly and was ready to prove it every step of the way, but mainly because he was never good at taking care of anyone. When Clint was feeling vengeful he explained that it was because Steve was the first child to be raised by Bucky, so his experiences resembled that of Jake. It was far-fetched and Steve felt a little offended, but some parts of it were true.

For example, Bucky was definitely better at soothing Jake or guessing his needs, not to mention the fact that he had seemingly endless patience towards the shouting brat, patience that he didn't possess in for example, dealing with Tony's antics. Not that Tony was jealous, thank you very much, it was just unfair.

Since Director Fury did not grant anyone paternity leave (Steve and Bucky's yearly escape was apparently punished, but no one knew anything for certain), sometimes when the world needed Winter Soldier and Captain America at the same time, which was almost always, one of the Avengers was elected to baby-sit the Super-baby (Tony, why).

For reasons entirely unknown Jake adored Natasha and accepted her with no fuss, which was rich, since Natasha was still quite terrified of children. Of course, she denied everything, but no one believed her anyway.

In the end, she was the one who taught Jake Russian lullabies.

His second choice was Betty, who spoiled him rotten when she was certain no-one was looking. And Bruce usually helped her, therefore sometimes they disappeared for a day and returned with handbags of toys and pretty things Jake took a liking to. They also both read him bed-time stories when Bucky and Steve were not there. Knowing Bruce and Betty's unfulfilled wish for children, no one, even Tony, commented on that.

The third Jake-approved baby-sitter was Sam who won this favour by gifts and frequent monologues directed at Jake. He, at the other hand was responsible for the fact, that Jake fell in love with DUM-EE, since he was the one who took Jake on a tour around the tower. The love was mutual, to Tony's obvious amusement. DUM-EE carried Jake around, mimicking the flying-motions and causing gleeful squealing and blabbering.

Sam lost his 'best uncle' position soon after.

***

Jake saw the Hulk when he was four.

He almost asked him for an autograph.

By the age of four Jake was already in possession of a whole set of Avengers action-figurines. The figurines of his parents were placed on the shelf of honour, next to Asgardian beasts.

He had T-shirts with everyone of the team (for this purpose Clint sew 'Hawkeye', 'Black Widow' and 'Falcon' one, because the fact that merchandise was unfair was no explanation) and a whole set of hulk-related underwear (courtesy of Betty).

So, it wasn't like Jake had no idea that Hulk existed, he just hasn't met him yet.

Until that one, fateful evening when Tony, Bruce, Betty and Jane blew up the lab's roof.

No one was hurt, thankfully, but Bruce was nervous enough to 'go green'. While he was rampaging through the corridors, he encountered Steve, Bucky and their son on his way.

Hulk stopped at the sight of unknown entity.

Jake, immediately hidden behind Bucky's legs, peered at him as well. "You Hulk?" He asked, quietly, but bravely. Steve positioned himself in front of his family, ready to protect them if necessary.

The Hulk stared.

"Young Cap." He informed, looking for confirmation from Steve. He received a nod. He turned on his heel and went the other way, in the direction of Betty's voice.

"Wow. Hulk!" Came the excited squeal.

"Of course. As always, he is your son."

"Bucky..."

"I will remind you about it when he wakes up in the middle of the night."

"Buck, you know that they don't mean to offend you. They just..."

"Before the sunrise he is your son!"

***

To be honest, one of the most terrifying moments of the 'Jake experience' was sending him to the kindergarten.

Mainly, because that was the moment Steve and Bucky had to decide, what was Jake's surname.

Of course, by law he was Barnes (since he was out of a wed-lock and in hospital data, Bucky figured as a father), by tradition he should be Rogers, by his address he should be a Stark and by character - Barton or Banner, but neither of these names could come up in any document if Jake was not to be kidnapped by evil super-villains.

Therefore, they had to choose a name that in any way couldn't be linked to any of them.

While Tony was bent on naming the poor child 'Snow' (To the point when he once exclaimed 'You must be Steve Roger's bastard!' which led to a very awkward talk with Jake, what exactly is a bastard), the rest of the team wasn't much better.

In the end, they chose Jensen. It came out of nowhere, just after the shouting match between the two distressed parents which ended up in guns in face (Steve's face) and threat of bullets following ('You are not naming my child Smith.' ' But it is a simple, clearly American surname!' 'Exactly!' ' It is still better than Stevanovic!"), when Natasha casually asked "You know, that there are names that are identical with surnames?"

They looked at her, both taking a few steps back.

"What do you mean?"

She shrugged.

"If you want a name that will not be suspicious, it cannot be too plain or too extraordinary. And names as surnames are the best bet. Like Colin Morgan."

"I have no idea who this man is." replied the Winter Soldier. "And how do you know?"

"Experience. And it's the guy from Merlin." Steve and Bucky rolled their eyes in a perfect unison.

"Not the point." She said, almost pouting.

"Why are we surrounded by strange people, Steve?" In the end, after another team meeting, they chose six names and let Jake decide which one he liked best.

And because Tony is an awful, awful person who lets children watch shows not suitable for their age, one month later the administration of the kindergarten received the application of one Jake Jensen, who at his first day proclaimed

' I have the same name as Dean in French Mistake.'

***

The true hardship started with school, mostly because there was such things as parent-teacher conferences.

With Jake being... Accustomed to some level of violence and threats in his house, the parent-teacher meetings were frequent and unfortunately, entirely inconvenient.

While Steve and Bucky tried to be stellar parents, constant world-saving activities tended to keep them away from home, like the rest of the team.

That's why Mrs. Murdoc at her first parent-teacher conference had encountered Bruce and Pepper. Pepper, whom she knew from news. Whom she knew to be Tony Stark's girlfriend. But.. did that make... No, she was not here to gossip.

Even, if she probably had to discuss Iron Man's secret son's detention for karate fighting.

The next conference was even more confusing. this time, Mrs. Murdoc was met with a glowering young man and a woman she was sure was Black Widow. The glowering young man was unknown to her, but he seemed to be proud of Iron Man's son for the beating of three kids.

"I'm sorry, Mister... "She trailed, looking at supposedly-Black-Widow in search of help. The woman just smirked and said something in Russian to the man, who in turn glared at her.

"Nikolayevitch." He supplied, turning back to Mrs. Murdoc.

"Mister Nikolayevitch. Jake is a very lively boy with a strong sense of justice, but he should be punished for using violence towards his peers. I cannot question his parents'..." Clever one, though Mrs. Murdoc to herself, she dogged the awkwardness,"... decision to train him in martial arts, but I can question his behaviour and lack of discipline in that matter."

The assumed Black Widow put her hand on Mr. Nicholayevitch's arm in reassuring gesture. Then, she tuned to Mrs. Murdoc "His parents are doing the best they can to teach Jake that hitting people is not the best way of convincing them to your rights"

Here, she shared a significant look with Mr. Nikolayevitch. Domestic violence?!

"But maybe the ones you should be concerned with are those three boys who decided to pick on a girl only because she didn't share her sweets with them. " The pointed look was enough for Mrs. Murdoc to nod her head.

"Good. You cannot expect Jake to do nothing when other kids are being bullied. He might be the one to start the fights, but he does not do it unprovoked. He _protects_." Said the man.

"He is breaking school rules!" Argued Mrs. Murdoc. And then she shivered.

The man's smile promised many breakings of other things than just rules. Spines, preferably. She wondered whose child Jake even was, since his smile looked exactly like Mr. Nikolayevitch's.

Her last memorable conference was that with one Dr.Betty Ross, as proclaimed by her ID, and Mr. Sam Wilson.

This time, Jake blew up the chemistry lab, trying to show everyone some kind of a new formula.

"Can you please show me his notes?" Asked Dr. Ross and Mrs. Murdoc did so. The woman studied it for a moment and then turned it back. "He was right.He did that experiment at home before, and it succeeded. The only reason it could blow up was that either somebody added something without his knowledge, or this school has substances of a doubtful quality." At that the man named Sam Wilson started to laugh hysterically.

The woman opened her mouth to say something else, but he interupted her.

"Dear Mrs...Murdoc, is that correct...?" Mrs. Murdoc nodded her head." If you want to, write Mr. Stark to pay for the laboratory, but under any circumstances, do not put the blame on Jake. He is a good kid and should be praised for effort and taking interest in the subject. " He said, smiling in a calming manner. 

"And you don't want Doctor Ross here to do an inspection of your supplies. She's been practically born on the battlefield, since her father is a general, so she would be very thorough." He added and with that, the strange pair left.

And then, the Incident happened.

The Incident, meaning That One Time The Super-villain Kidnapped the Schoolbus.

***

"I told you! I told all of you, that we should have monitored every school outing!" Shouted Tony, shooting missiles at the big godzilla-like alien who was blocking the street.

Sam and Natasha were busy evacuating the civilians, Hulk was smashing the legion of small aliens while Thor was reducing them to popcorn and Steve was frantically looking for Jake in the rescued school bus.

"He is not here..." Came the panicked whisper, barely heard through the children cheering 'Captain America!!!". Before Tony could say something, some kid's voice came within the reach of Steve's earpiece.

"If you are looking for Jake, he was taken by a very angry man with a metal arm. We tried to protect him!" Exclaimed boy so earnestly that Tony almost believed him.

"Thank you." Said Steve, and judging from the rustling of the clothing, he actually hugged the kid.

"Barnes. Barnes, do you hear me?" Bucky had been silent for the last half an hour but Tony have seen him here or there, so he wasn't worried that the Winter Soldier did not partake in their little chats. He was busy eviscerating the aliens in a very brutal, yet efficient way. Tony Stark did not give his respect easily, but Bucky Barnes definitely earned it.

Especially now, since Tony has just spotted him on a roof with Jake, who seemed thrilled to see his Papa shooting people from the distance. Tony landed next to the two.

"We were worried about you." He said as Jake came to hug him.

"But Dad found me! He opened the bus with his hand and took me! And Bob even threw a book at Dad to protect me!"

"Heart-warming" gritted Bucky, shooting two aliens approaching Clint on the square.

"Dad is still angry." Explained Jake with a shrug of his shoulders. For a seven year old, he was becoming too stoic for his good.

"Angry with whom?" Inquired Tony, looking with fondness at the sniper decimating the enemy gathered around the Starbucks.

"With some lying old geezers. And if I were you, I'd change your tone, Jake. You are the one who will become an orphan when I'm done with him."

"But I will have you, Dad, if you murder papa" observed Jake. Too laid-back about his potential lack of second father, Tony noted.

He wondered if the Avengers have somehow harmed the kid. Psychologically, and all.

"No, but I will probably kill myself after I'm done mutilating his body." Bucky promised darkly, before he nodded at Tony and jumped off the roof to stab at the godzilla-like creature who was approaching them.

"Dad is pretty cool." Confessed Jake, starry-eyed.

"That he is."

"But he is the best when he is shooting. He looks so awesome! And never misses!"

Was that Oedipus complex? On his father? Was that even a thing?

Tony decided he didn't have to know. He grabbed Jake and accompanied by delighed whooping of the boy, he flew away from the building, ignoring the blast of the monster being blown by one of Hawkeye's arrows.

"Hawkeye is also cool. But he has arrows, so he is not as cool as Dad." Continued Jake, unperturbed.

Definitely some kind of a complex.

***

When they were back in Avengers Tower and everyone came back alive from yet another perilous world-saving, there came the time for SOME WORDS.

"I TOLD YOU THAT WE ARE NOT SENDING HIM ANYWHERE WITH THIS SCHOOL!" Bellowed Bucky, while Natasha nodded behind his back. For someone who didn't like children, she was pretty protective.

"He needs life! He needs friends! We cannot isolate him and make him interact only with our company!" Argued Steve, still impressive, even if his words did not sound as if they were in capslock.

"Dad...? But Papa said, that you agreed that I should go?" Came the question from the sofa.

When the two shouting Avengers had turned, they were faced with Jake cuddling with Bruce and looking at them in confusion. Steve had at least the decency to look shame-faced.

"I just said ' He didn't say no' "

"BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T ASK ME!"

"So, it is not a lie?" Asked Jake and Bruce shook his head. Betty chuckled and patted boy's head.

"It's a lie by omission and it is as bad as an ordinary lie."

"But Papa is Captain America! He cannot _lie_!"

"Yeah, try telling him that. He will make puppy eyes and say 'it's for a reason' and ' it was for the good'. You should ask him how he doesn't steal cars" Said Sam, sitting down next to Jake.

Bucky and Steve were now shouting some 40's insults at each other, which would be endearing, if Jake was not within the earshot.

"You do this once again and I will shoot you! I will regret it, sure, but I will shoot you!"

"Ok, that's quite enough. Jake would like to tell you how the trip went until they were accosted by aliens." Everyone turned.

True, Thor was more than met the eye, but a word 'peacemaker' was hardly ever associated with him.

"It was awesome!" Said Jake and in excited words began to tell them all about technologies they had seen in Oscorp.

"I want to work there, when I am older!" proclaimed Jake at the end of his story.

There was silence.

"And there goes your adoption plan, Stark." Said Clint and Tony promised himself that he will be avenged. Possibly, by meddling with Barton's room heating.

"Jake. Before you start your internship at Oscorp, I'd like to show you my room."

***

At the tender age of thirteen Jake already knew that apart from his strength and combat skills he possessed no super-power whatsoever. He was not healing like his Papa, he did not shoot with dead-accuracy like his Dad. But he was smart and good with technology.

He loved these moments with uncle Tony, when they would sit late in the laboratory and sneak around with their experiments hoping that they would not be caught by Pepper or Jake's parents. Jake adored the time he spent with uncle Tony and uncle Bruce, just as much as he adored his training sessions with aunt Natasha or experiments with aunts Jane and Betty, mostly because they always got him hot chocolate every half an hour.

In fact, he was very happy to be with his family.

He always wondered why his friends so often whined about their parents, who apparently could not keep their noses out of kids business and made them do things that were 'lame'. The last time Jake said that Saturday movie night was boring, he was challenged to a duel in monopoly. Uncle Tony and uncle Clint took _Jurassic Park_ very seriously.

Even if by standards, and Jake knew standards, because aunt Jane told him, his family was strange, it was a happy one.

And then Alice arrived.

Jake learned pretty early that uncle Bruce and aunt Betty couldn't have children, because uncle Bruce was afraid of  passing on his genes. Yet they wanted them very much.

And one day, they brought Alice.

She had blond hair and when she opened her eyes, they were blue, like aunt Betty's.

Everyone immediately fell in love with her, but no one, no one could love her more than Jake himself, he was sure of it.

"We should have asked him, if he wanted a sister." Mused Steve, observing his son blabbering at the one year old.

Bucky turned to him. "I love you, and I love Jake, I even love this dysfunctional family we have, but no more, or I'll burst. That, and do you really want to go through the same thing as we did with Jake?"

Both of them considered it for a moment and shuddered in unison.

"One child is enough." Said Steve.

"Agreed."

But that didn't stop them from cooing at the newest member of the Avengers, buying her ridiculously overpriced presents and doting on her alongside the rest of the team.

Jake was furious.

She was his sister!

Even though he couldn't really call her that, because they were not related. He decided that 'niece', even if incorrect, had a nice ring to it, and it made aunt Betty blush, because it made it seem as if she was young enough to be his sister.

Uncle Tony always said that everyone really want to feel as they are young, so it worked even better.

With time, Jake understood what his peers were talking about. Adults were annoying!

They were occupying Alice's time, time she should spend with Jake! He got her best presents! And her first smile was directed at him!

But, of course, he couldn't go on a walk with her, because 'Something dangerous could happen.'

As if.

Okay, they got kidnapped alongside uncle Clint, but, first of all, uncle Clint got them out, and secondly, when aunt Natasha and Jake's dads arrived, the evil guy stood no chance, so it didn't count.

At least uncle Thor seemed to have a normal attitude towards Alice, namely, he handed her to Jake every time it was aunt Jane's turn to babysit her.

Apparently aunt Jane loved children as long as she could spend with them less than an hour. After that time, her love ended and she had to get away.

Aunt Jane was very cool, especially since Jake grew up a little, but now that she let him have his Alice-time, she was the best!

***

Considering his background, it was no wonder that Jake chose military school.

Even though uncle Tony still cried over the scientist he could have been.

"I'd have given you my empire!" He cried.

"Which is legally mine, if I remember correctly" interjected Pepper (who still refused to be called aunt).

"Fine, I'd have give you my lab in this tower!"

"Which also belongs to the company, and therefore to me." Pointed out Pepper once again, raising her glass and saluting the rest of the table. They whole family gathered in the Tower, celebrating Jake's application. Only Alice seemed to be very upset with him leaving, but she was now planning on becoming aunt Natasha, so she refused to shed a tear. "But, I can give you, like 12% of it on your next birthday"

With that, Jake stopped listening.

He turned to his parents.

"Are you as distraught?" He asked, but he knew the answer.

"I am not. Bucky might be, because he's always hated the Army."

"Am not. I am as proud as you. Just because it didn't suit me then, doesn't mean that it wouldn't suit Jake." With that, Jake hugged his both dads. They might be slightly 'different', but he would never trade them for any else. He left them to talk with the rest.

Most of them was happy for him, not in any way worried. Maybe that's why having the Avengers as your faimly was a good thing.

No one said 'don't do it, it's dangerous', everyone just accepted that danger was part of the job. Hell, uncle Bruce once jumped out of a chopper, not sure whether he will change at all! Not to mention the things his Papa did as Captain America - jumping of the planes, marching solo to German base. They had no right to judge.

Still, it was good to have their support.

"What's with the hair?" Asked aunt Natasha, when he approached her and uncle Clint.

"Well... It was always brown, like dad's. By dying it a little blond, it's like I have a part of both of them with me. Silly, I know, but seemed important at the time." He answered. Aunt Natasha nodded in understanding.

"That, and now you look like Captain America's look-alike. Of course, that was unintentional" Added uncle Clint, winking.

"Absolutely." Answered Jake, grinning.

***

A few years went by with nothing bad happening.

True, Jake worked for Black Ops now, but he had a team of his own.

The Avengers mostly retired, or at least gave some of their duties to the Young Avengers, or something like that.

Truth be told, Jake's parents did not age a bit, but so didn't uncle Thor, so well..

And then the whole Bolivia debacle happened.

He wanted to contact his parents, he truly did, but Clay insisted on laying low.

Considering that they were pronounced dead, maybe there would be no government to speak of in America when they got back. Jake's dads did not forgive easily.

So he sent a little message. And he got a response including many news, like for example, Alice's match.

He had to be there. It was his niece, the most important girl in his life!

Not that she could find any other, since all the women he ever knew were intimidating as hell. After interacting with them, talking with any other female was... strange.

Cougar did not have this problem. He just smiled at them, touched his hat and did... something with his eyebrows.

Jake wanted to be Cougar.

***

Scratch that, he wanted to be with Cougar.

Finally, after setting things right (more or less) and delivering Pooch to the hospital, Jake had the time to come to terms with his feelings.

And they were... Interesting. Not that he had just noticed that Cougar looked awesome with his rifle, or that being near him came to Jake naturally, not to mention the way the light played on Cougar's brown hair... But still, it was something new.

And he decided to start off right.

By introducing Cougar to the family.

It went surprisingly well.

Everyone seemed to be in favour of Jake dating a Black Ops member ("At least he knows what to do when they kidnap him" said uncle Clint) and Alice decided she liked Cougar, especially after the match the whole team went to watch, so there was that.

His Dad and Papa looked at each other for a moment and then started laughing.

It was not a nice thing to do, but then, the Avengers weren't nice.

When they calmed down, they greeted Cougar and started to talk among themselves. The only thing Jake heard was 'At least it didn't take him seventy years."

The rest of the family was pretty welcoming as well, aunts Betty and Jane quickly engrossed Cougar in a conversation and Jake was free to just look and observe.

He didn't hear uncle Tony approaching.

"So let me set it straight." Jake raised an eyebrow.

" Figure of speech." Defended uncle Tony. " He is a sniper, he saved your life a thousand times and he has brown hair."

"Yes... And?" Uncle Tony sighed, tiredly.

"I was right... It was Oediphus complex all along..."


End file.
